After a bad general meeting with a manager, I stopped writing for three months. And I don’t mean that I didn’t finish a masterwork; I mean, I stopped all writing. I was the only one in this group general meeting who did not get suggestions for future development. The manager belittled the actors I had attached to one of my projects. He made me feel like all my ideas were frivolous, poorly formed, non-commercial, and pointless.
But worse? I let him do it.
Rather than believing in myself and the work, I gave the power over my creativity to someone else. It took me three months to take it back.
Is some of this understandable? Sure. He had a lot of experience. He makes a great living by representing screenwriters (and others). I was new to the industry. I know why I paid to take this general meeting to gain insight from his experience.
But letting him kill what joy I had in creation for months? That was pure fear on my part. It was easier to believe he was right than to keep trying to break into a competitive market. And somewhere deep down, I believed most of the negative things he had to say (except about those actors — they rocked).
How did I adapt? How did I find some measure of resilience, surpass my usual insecurity, and find a stronger normal? How can you climb out of a negative feedback spiral? It isn’t a journey that happens overnight, but we can all find our way to finding resilience.
Steps Toward Finding Your Resilience
Talk to people you trust and respect.
My first reaction was to cocoon and keep all my feelings of insecurity and disappointment to myself. I didn’t start recovering until I let people in, started talking about the negative feedback, and created an environment where enthusiasm and hope could exist.
Keep the useful advice; dump the rest.
It’s too easy to ignore every element of negative feedback. Instead, take the actionable elements that can enhance your project (once you aren’t too angry to hear the input) and ignore the rest. There are times when you will get bad reads or encounter someone with wildly different tastes. It’s okay to ignore what isn’t useful to stick to your vision.
Don’t continue to drown in negative self-talk.
Even wildly successful people get bad reviews. Online comment sections can be brutal. Don’t add to the negativity by beating yourself up. Learn from the experience, but move on. In other words, don’t stop writing because you’ve taken the negative reviews, doubled down on them, and then made your own mind your worst enemy.
Stay present.
I’m not suggesting the bad experiences won’t stay with you or inform your future work. But today is a new day. Stay present. Your past work doesn’t predict failure or success. Today is the only day that matters.
Practice gratitude.
Am I grateful to that manager who utterly dismissed me? Not really. But I am thankful that I have the ability to keep writing. I’m grateful that I woke up this morning. I’m grateful to have cultivated an excellent support network of incredible humans. I’m grateful for my life. Focusing on those things helped me become more resilient in the face of career challenges.
Learn to pivot.
I’m not great with change, but I’m learning. Becoming more flexible with my approach to sharing my creative writing has improved my overall mindset and has been critical to growing as an artist. I think embracing change (or trying to) is a valuable tool, no matter what your industry and an essential step toward building resilience.
Don’t stop learning.
Developing new problem-solving skills and techniques and learning new ways to employ your work can engage your brain in ways that will keep your mind agile and your spirit joyful.
Overall, stay hopeful. Remind yourself that on bad days, better ones are possible. Take a deep breath. Move your body, if you can. Clear your mind. Start again.